WHAT EVERY FAT GIRL WANTS

 A bra that fits.

 It is the holy grail for fat women. 

 Why is it soooooooo hard to find a bra that fits?  Do average sized women have these troubles?  I can do math.  I can follow instructions.  Therefore, I should be able to compute my correct bra size. 

 Except there are several different ways to compute your bra size.  Some say, you measure right under the breast for the band-size; some say take that measurement and add 1″ or 2″ or something else if the number is odd or even.  Then you measure around your breasts at the fullest part —- well, what do you do when the fullest part is substantially lower than where you want it to be?  Are you supposed to strap those babies in with the tape measure to hold them in place?  Do you really want a bra that will fit you like a tape measure wound so tight it can hold your boobs up?  And if the tape measure works, why not just use a couple of those? 

 Oh and by the way, the norm is that your breasts aren’t a matched set – they will usually be two different sizes.  I even got measured by a so-called expert at a Bash.  Uh-huh.  I bought two quite expensive bras, and they don’t fit any better than my usual bras.  Plus they are back-hook which I hate. 

 And should you find a bra that actually fits, chances are it will be a style that your great grandma would have been proud to sport.  Coverage almost to the adam’s apple (if we had one, which we don’t because we’re women) – so much for showing any cleavage.  Speaking of which, does anybody really want “lift and separate”?  I can understand lift alright, but separate?  No I want these babies making beautiful cleavage together!

 My current solution is to wear the Lane Giant Only Necessities bra-tank tops with the shelf bra built in.  They’re comfortable and they even have some strap adjustment available – and it’s just one “shelf” to hold your boobs up – no need to force them into cups.  I get them a couple sizes smaller than my top size, so they are tight enough to offer some support.  In fact, I got the “surplice” style (on clearance, y’all) and I LOVE those!  My boobs are up where they can have a nice view of the world, and the vee-neck gives me enough cleavage so the world gets a nice view of my boobs!  Win-win. 

 But much as I love them, a t-shirt tank is not going to work under a lot of clothing.

 So, the hunt continues, as my bra drawer fills up with bras I hate – bitter with unfulfilled dreams of support, comfort and lace. 

 All I want is a bra that fits, is that so much to ask?

Filed under: Just Fun

Why Fatties Don’t Exercise

Well, in the first place, just like average people – some fatties do exercise, and some don’t.  And some fatties want to exercise, and don’t.  Why?  Well, let me tell you…

Face it, society does not make it easy (or pleasant) for fatties to exercise.

Health/fitness clubs are often not fat friendly.  The staff may not know how to adjust routines to accommodate the fat body.  Fat folks are often exposed to rude behavior by staff and/or other members. 

The fatty who just wants to take a walk or bike ride, must deal with the oh-so-not-witty comments of passers-by. 

Proper exercise-friendly clothing is often not available in our size.  When it is, it is often prohibitively expensive.

Also we have had a lifetime of having exercise shoved down our throats – for our own “good”.  For the most part, exercise has been forced on us like a punishment, instead of as something fun. 

So no wonder a lot of us (me included) hate exercise. 

And for all those folks out there who are so concerned about our “health”, think about that the next time you’re somewhere and see a fat person dancing, or at the beach, or just out getting some movement – think about how much it takes for a fat person just to put themselves out there in the first place.

Filed under: Fat Activism, health

Fat Tap

Now that I am done with 2 years of school (while working full time), I am feeling the need to get this fat body moving a little.

My preferred way of getting things moving is tap dance! 

I am not great at it but I enjoy it.  And I think that is the key to any form of exercise.  (I hate to call it exercise, because truthfully, I DON’T LIKE TO EXERCISE, but I can’t think of another term.)  You work up a sweat and it can be as intense a workout as you want – very easy to modify.

When I was a 6 years old, my mom took me to tap class.  They taught us heel-toe, heel-toe, brush, brush, brush.  And that is what we did – lesson after lesson, week after week.  I was bored out of my mind, so I quit.  But I never lost my desire to learn to tap.  I have done some tap in shows, and I have taken some lessons.  Now I just get DVDs and work from them.

My one rule, for myself and fat tap is that I do not “catch air”.  There are no hops or leaps going on.  I guess you could call it low impact tap.  If the lesson calls for a hop or leap – they get a heel drop.  Same sound, happier knees and ankles. 

If you are not able to stand up for a long time, you can do a lot of it sitting down.

And I have seriously considered getting a walker, for stability and lift when I’m tapping, and using that so I can catch air – and I SWEAR I thought of this before I saw the musical version of The Producers and the tap dancing little old ladies.

So if you’re looking for something fun to add a little movement into your life, you might want to consider fat tap!

Filed under: health, Just Fun

Quick Fierceness

Here’s a quick pointer to a great post by Elizebeth Turnquist at Fierce Freethinking Fatties about fat statisitics and the work of Jeffrey M. Friedman.  In short, small shifts in the distribution of weight across the U.S. population can look like huge increases in the rate of fatness.

Filed under: Science

Why Don’t Fatties Buy Clothes

I’m reading this article in the NY Times about the fact that 60%+ of women are fat, and yet fat clothes revenues are only 8% of the total.  WTF – are there a bunch of naked fatties running around?

I read on and the article talks about how fat women don’t buy clothes because they don’t like what’s offered (d’oh – yah think?).

But clothing manufacturers say they can’t make fat clothes because you can’t predict how the fat body will be shaped (yay us – diversity rocks). 

Well excuse me, but have they heard of separates?  You know where you can buy one size pants to fit your big ass, but another size top which fits your smaller top – or vice versa?  Hello? 

This is not rocket science folks.

Go into any store in the mall for the “average” sized (not fat) woman – and will you see rack upon rack of dresses?  Nooooooooo – chances are you will see rack upon rack of separates. 

Sorry clothing manufacturers – we’re fat, not stupid.  As Terry Pratchett says, yank the other one, it’s got bells on it.

Filed under: Body image, Size Acceptance

My Fat Arms

I was in a production of No No Nanette (aka N³); when the director told the lady playing the role of Flora (the bombshell), not to worry because he would never humiliate her by letting her go onstage wearing a sleeveless dress.  It was clear he found the idea of exposing her upper arms absolutely disgusting.

Really?  She would be humiliated by letting her upper arms show?

Now this lady is a perfect off-the-rack size 14.  Absolute hour-glass figure, with all the curves in the right places.  She’s a fabulous dancer, with the muscles that go with that too.  There is not a thing in the world wrong with her upper arms.

I was so angry; and she wasn’t very happy with him either.

Fast forward to the yearly auditions for this group.  I got up, took off my jacket to show my sleeveless dress and said “This is for Flora!”  And whenever I audition and I know this guy is going to be there, I go sleeveless.  Who the fuck does he think he is?

Before this, I admit I was kind of loathe to show my fat upper arms, and they are indeed very fat, and flabby, and flappy.  But now I take joy in them.  They are so much fun!  They wibble and wobble and flap in the breeze!  They are the source of constant entertainment.  And if someone doesn’t like seeing them – that’s their problem. 

One lady I know refers to them as her “angel wings”.  I like that too!

So folks, I hope the next time you are wavering about going sleeveless, if you can’t do it for yourself – do it for Flora!

Filed under: Fat Activism, Size Acceptance

Fatties and Hot Weather

Does any fatty like hot weather?  I suppose there must be some, but I am NOT one of them.  We live in Northern California, and our temps are generally really mild – which is why we don’t have air conditioning. 

HOWEVER, there are always a few days a year when it gets HOT. 

So what is a fatty to do?  Besides sweat, I mean.

What do I do?  I keep hydrated – with COLD fluids and popsicles.  I keep the air moving with fans.  I try to keep the house as cool as possible (by closing windows and shades before the house has a chance to heat up).  I put off strenuous chores until it is cooler or do them in the morning before it heats up.  If I have to I take a cool shower.  And I sweat (no I do not glow, anything over 100˚ causes sweat not glow).

I grew up in Michigan – natural home of the fatties.  Why do you think it is the only State that includes weight as a protected class?  It can get hot and humid in Michigan in the summer (but then we have all those lovely lakes to soak in), but the rest of the year, being fat means you don’t have to dig out that winter coat right away, and you can keep the thermostat a bit lower. 

How do people who live where it is almost always hot do it?  Why would you live in such a place?  These are mysteries to me. 

So how about it?  Do you live in a warmer clime?  If so, how do you deal with the heat?  Or do you actually enjoy it?

Filed under: Just Fun

Weight Watchers – Discrimination

 Like I don’t have enough reasons to not like Weight Watchers (now it’s not a diet – yeah, and my ass chews crackers and whistles Dixie).

 Even if you lose 118 pounds using Weight Watchers, going down to a size 12 from a size 24, and keep that weight off for more than 5 years (really beating the odds), and have the requisite job skills, you are still not good enough to work for Weight Watchers as a national trainer.

 This lady really is a fan of WW (or at least used to be), and yet she was told during an interview (that had seemingly been going very well) that her BMI was too high for WW to hire her for the position!  WTF.

 http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/08/31/weight-watchers-biased/?ncid=webmail

 Unfortunately, unless this happened in Michigan, Washington DC, Santa Cruz, or San Francisco, it is not actionable. 

 And why isn’t this all over the news?  Don’t you think people who go to WW might be interested in knowing about how WW is treating one of their own?

 By the way for a really good look at weight loss system (including weight watchers) results check out:

http://fatfu.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/weight-watchers/

Filed under: health, Size Discrimination