I WANT A COLORFUL FAT ASS

I know black is classic and is usually a staple of any person’s (fat or thin) wardrobe.

HOWEVER, sometimes I want some color in my life and in my closet and it feels like it is an uphill battle to find brightly colored clothes to cover my fat ass.

Haven’t we come farther than this?

All I wanted was some brightly colored footless tights/leggings to wear with my new colorful tops.  I went to all the usual places – Woman Within, Roamans, Jessica London, Ulla Popken, etc., and my choices were pretty much uniformly – black, gray, dark brown and sometimes navy!  Whoo-hoo.  Not even white (which I could then dye).

Well shit.

Add to the fact that I am supersize which means my ass is more Empress of the Universe size rather than Queen Size.

Well, I looked and looked, and with the help of my truly wonderful Whaliam, I finally found two possibilities:  Chubbycartwheels.com and Welovecolors.com.

Chubbycartwheels has some interesting items – including lace leggings in various colors, but the only solid color leggings they had were in velvet and with summer coming they didn’t suit my purposes.  But they are definitely bookmarked for future consideration.

Welovecolors is amazing – they have more than 45 colors available and some tie-dye choices as well all in my size – and the price are reasonable.  They also carry colored fishnets and striped and patterned stockings – but alas those do not extend to my size.

So, I salute Welovecolors.com for offering my fat ass choices to adorn my lower limbs with flare and to the big corp fatty clothing sites, I can only say, I am disappointed but sadly not surprised.

 

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, Just Fun

Are you kidding?

This is a great article, except for one thing –

http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/16/living/body-image-kids/index.html?hpt=li_c1

Do you see what’s wrong?  Fat is the new ugly?  Bull hockey.  Fat has always been the taunt of choice on the playground.  Ask any fat kid – past or present.

The only reason anyone is noticing now is that not-fat kids are starting to worry about being fat.  Nobody cared as long as the only kids troubled by this kind of abuse were actually fat.

When it comes to bullying, I get so tired of the excuse that we can’t stop the bullying by kids because nobody knows “where to draw the line”.  How about nobody should be bullied?  How about that?  The kid with big ears shouldn’t be bullied.  The kid with a lisp shouldn’t be bullied.  The kid who is dumb or smart – they shouldn’t be bullied.

Yes kids can be mean.  Does that mean we should just let them be mean?  How about we don’t act like being mean is harmless?  How about we teach kids that being mean has consequences?

 

Filed under: Fat Activism, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Have fun and promote HAES!

Weight Watchers is having a contest via Twitter; here’s their tweet:

If your scale could give you a message, what would u want it to say? Answer w/ #scale2win by 12 AM EST http://bit.ly/RulesHere

I responded thusly:

@WeightWatchers WARNING: the numbers on this scale say NOTHING about your self worth; you’re AWESOME just as you are! #scale2win

Do you think I’ll win? Maybe not, but I had fun. If you like getting in the diet industry’s face, tweet them your own winning statement!

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, Just Fun

Responding to Fat Shaming in Georgia

A quick note: Marilyn Wann has created a campaign of size positive “Stand4″ posters in answer to the ads and billboards in Georgia targeting fat children. And fat dancer and blogger Ragen Chastain has followed with a fundraising campaign to pay for billboards in Georgia with a HAES (Health at Every Size) message. Consider participating in one or both of these!
http://marilynwann.tumblr.com
http://www.gofundme.com/dp16w
http://www.supportallkids.com

Filed under: Fat Activism, health, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Walkby Shouting

I was walking in the park one day late last year (I walk every work day during my lunch break), and a stranger who was walking the other way asked me how much weight I had lost. I told him “I’m not trying to lose weight, and that’s not a proper question to ask people in the park.” He responded, “You look great; I remember when I first saw you.”

He was trying to be nice, I guess, but the question hit me the wrong way. As a fat man, I don’t get much criticism about my weight, and obviously, I didn’t get criticism this time either, other than the implied criticism of a past me. Still, my weight is my business, the same as with anyone else. Even before I had size acceptance, I wouldn’t initiate a conversation with a stranger by asking about his/her weight, even in the course of making a compliment.

He didn’t seem to grasp my objection, so I didn’t respond any further. I’m happy with how I responded, but it probably didn’t do any good.  He may not even have realized why I objected. To understand an observed event, we (adults, anyway) have to plug it into a known framework, and I don’t think he had a framework for what I said.

That’s why it is so important to proclaim and explain size acceptance in all media we can. Even if we don’t change anyone’s mind, we’re at least letting people know that there are such things as body self-acceptance, fat pride, and HAES. Then at least strangers will understand why we object to weight-loss-based compliments, even if they don’t agree.

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, health, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

You Never Know

I am feeling a bit pleased and proud of myself.

I got an e-mail, that had been sent to all the staff at the law office I work for, saying that they were going to do a Biggest Loser type game for the staff.

Total trigger for me.  I’m furious.  I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to hear about this.

So I sent an e-mail to everybody at the office saying, “Please do not put me on copy for any of this.  I am a proponent of size acceptance with a focus on health and not weight.”

What I did was take care of me.  If other people at work want to do this, that is not my problem.  None of my beewax.  As Samuel Goldwyn once said, “Include me out.”

And now I know that several other staff members have now spoken up about not wanting to participate or even hear about this.  One acknowledging that I had put into words what she felt.  Yea me. Yea them.

I feel like not only did I stand up for myself, but I helped some other people stand up for themselves.  To tell the truth, I was a bit surprised that other people at the office would feel as I do.

So when you stand up for yourself, you may be helping or educating others.  You never know.

Filed under: Fat Activism, health, Size Acceptance

Staying Informed

The popular media have just now found out about a horrible ad campaign in Georgia that stigmatizes fat children. I am heartened that the size rights community has responded, but I wish that there had been an equivalent response when NAAFA first reported on these ads ten months ago:

http://www.naafaonline.com/newsletterstuff/oldnewsletterstuff/March%202011%20NAAFA%20Newsletter.html

There’s only so much that NAAFA can do to raise awareness. There’s not really a NAAFA army, just a handful of volunteers who issue press releases (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/naafapressreleases/message/61), talk to news organizations, and basically try to work the media. Some readers of that issue of the newsletter probably did do as NAAFA asked and e-mailed the organization’s director, but the effect of these actions isn’t apparent. One additional thing NAAFA could have done was start a petition like this one: http://www.change.org/petitions/childrens-healthcare-of-atlanta-end-the-stop-sugarcoating-campaign; petitions can do a lot of good sometimes.

As I said, the current reaction by the fatosphere is great, but the ads have been on for a while, and a lot of damage has already been done.

So do me (and yourself) a favor: go to the first link above and take a look at last March’s NAAFA Newsletter. (There are more (and newer) newsletters here: http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/about/NEWSLETTERS.html) If you like what you see, and want to stay on top of issues like these Georgia ads, click on the button in the right column that says “Join Our Mailing List”, and you’ll get a NAAFA Newsletter once a month. (Note: I help prepare the newsletter.) It’s free, it’s only one e-mail a month, it’s fun, and you can unsubscribe at any time. Try it!

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, health, Size Discrimination, NAAFA, petitions

The REVOLUTION is on for 2012!

It’s happening again. The New Year’s REVOLUTION is on for 2012!

Instead of making new year’s resolutions involving weight loss, you know, the ones that end in sadness and self-revulsion, join us in the REVOLUTION. Make a resolution (or goal, or idea, or just something to have fun with) to love your body and yourself, and spread the message of HAES, health at every size. Change your facebook page to a size-positive image, tweet about HAES with the #HAES hashtag, read a fat-friendly book, or just be the fabulous person you are!

Check out the resources here: http://revolutionsresources.blogspot.com

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, health

FAT DOES NOT EQUAL ABUSED OR NEGLECTED

Does the Cleveland Department of Children and Family Services have too much time on their hands?  Too many resources?  Do they not read?  Do they not understand people come in different sizes?  WTF is wrong with these people?

Once again a fat child has been removed from his home because he is fat.  They are claiming it is a form of medical neglect.

http://news.yahoo.com/obese-third-grader-taken-mom-placed-foster-care-201731761.html

Since Yahoo news posts tend to disappear quickly, here is a link to the story that should be around longer:

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2011/11/obese_cleveland_heights_child.html

I guess nobody told them (or the court that allowed this to happen) that no one, including doctors, has been able to find a reliable method of attaining significant weight loss over an extended period of time for most fat people.  If the Cleveland Department of Children and Family Services does know how to achieve this, they should share the secret because they could make a butt load of money.

The 8-year-old boy suffers from sleep apnea.  Thin and fat people suffer from sleep apnea.  But, again, even if the condition is weight-related, there is no “cure”.

The boy has been taking part in a program called “Healthy Kids, Healthy Weight” at the Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital.  He lost some weight, and recently the weight started to come back.  Surprise, surprise.  Apparently, this triggered the boy being put into foster care.  Can’t blame the program.  Can’t blame the good folks at Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital.  Better to take a child from his home and put him into foster care.

The overwhelming majority of the comments on Yahoo to this news story has been that this is the wrong thing to do.  Some of the people are size accepting, some are not, but they pretty much all agree that the government has no business removing fat children from a loving home.

I would say the comments show a step in the right direction in general societal views on this issue, except there is still an 8-year-old boy who has been taken from his home and a mother who is going through pure hell simply because she has a fat child.

Filed under: Fat Activism, Size Discrimination

HAVE AN ABUNDANT AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING

As we dive into the holiday season, I would like to revisit facing the holidays.

Many fat folks have problems over the holidays because of family and friends who don’t understand that comments about weight are not only unwelcome but can be downright hurtful. 

I can only encourage you to set some boundaries and stick to them.  If you can, let problem people know in advance that you will not be putting up with their unsolicited “help” and that their “concern” about your weight is misplaced.

Some useful neutral phrases I have found are:

“I’m not comfortable with that (or discussing that)”

“That’s not an issue for me”

“My health/weight/size is between me and my doctor.”

If you are comfortable with being a bit more confrontational, you could offer to provide them with links to studies that refute what they’re saying, you could tell them outright this is none of their business, you could tell them outright you don’t appreciate their comments.

And if you are comfortable with confrontation, you can call them on what they’ve said.  I usually find that if you simply say, “Excuse me?” or “What is that supposed to mean?” people (especially passive-aggressive bullies) tend to back right down.  They don’t like it when their sneaky meanness is pointed out.

And remember when we are children we are pretty much saddled with the family that we were born into, but as we grow older we can choose who is family to us and it has nothing to do with blood and everything to do with love and respect. 

And don’t forget to try to be loving and respectful to yourself too.

So I wish you all wonderful holidays.

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, Size Acceptance