Fatties United!

Icon

There's room for all of us!

KISS MY ANGRY FAT ASS

I am so incredibly angry.

And you won’t like me angry.

While working on the NAAFA roundup, I made the mistake of reading comments on an article about Weight of the Nation.

Let me say this.  I have no intention of watching Weight of the Nation on HBO or reading the book.  I have heard enough about it to know that it is just more of the same old myths and misinformation about fat people that stoke the fat hatred that is reflected in the comments I read.  I am not going to subject myself to it.

I just want to say -

HOW DARE ANYONE TELL ME I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MY RIGHT TO LIVE MY LIFE AS A FAT PERSON?

Fuck you.

My health is not your concern.  It is none of your business.  So don’t tell me, you are just concerned about my health.  Trust me, you can put that in the great big box in your head marked “Not my problem”.

We are all going to die.  When and how I die is of concern to a very few people.  My being fat is not going to make your life longer or shorter, better or worse.

If it makes you feel superior to me because of a number on a scale – get on with your bad self.  But I don’t want to listen to it.

I am tired of trying to have a polite conversation with you people who hate fat people but cannot admit it.  I’m tired of people politely correcting you with facts and having you come back with another stream of fat phobia.  You do not want to hear facts.  You are too invested in what “everyone knows”.  Go ahead and lie to yourself, but don’t think that you are deceiving me.  I know who and what you are.

And I’m so tired of people being afraid of fat people.

You want to be afraid of fat people, keep it up.  I repeat, you won’t like me angry.

 

Filed under: Body image, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Are you kidding?

This is a great article, except for one thing –

http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/16/living/body-image-kids/index.html?hpt=li_c1

Do you see what’s wrong?  Fat is the new ugly?  Bull hockey.  Fat has always been the taunt of choice on the playground.  Ask any fat kid – past or present.

The only reason anyone is noticing now is that not-fat kids are starting to worry about being fat.  Nobody cared as long as the only kids troubled by this kind of abuse were actually fat.

When it comes to bullying, I get so tired of the excuse that we can’t stop the bullying by kids because nobody knows “where to draw the line”.  How about nobody should be bullied?  How about that?  The kid with big ears shouldn’t be bullied.  The kid with a lisp shouldn’t be bullied.  The kid who is dumb or smart – they shouldn’t be bullied.

Yes kids can be mean.  Does that mean we should just let them be mean?  How about we don’t act like being mean is harmless?  How about we teach kids that being mean has consequences?

 

Filed under: Fat Activism, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Responding to Fat Shaming in Georgia

A quick note: Marilyn Wann has created a campaign of size positive “Stand4″ posters in answer to the ads and billboards in Georgia targeting fat children. And fat dancer and blogger Ragen Chastain has followed with a fundraising campaign to pay for billboards in Georgia with a HAES (Health at Every Size) message. Consider participating in one or both of these!
http://marilynwann.tumblr.com
http://www.gofundme.com/dp16w
http://www.supportallkids.com

Filed under: Fat Activism, health, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Walkby Shouting

I was walking in the park one day late last year (I walk every work day during my lunch break), and a stranger who was walking the other way asked me how much weight I had lost. I told him “I’m not trying to lose weight, and that’s not a proper question to ask people in the park.” He responded, “You look great; I remember when I first saw you.”

He was trying to be nice, I guess, but the question hit me the wrong way. As a fat man, I don’t get much criticism about my weight, and obviously, I didn’t get criticism this time either, other than the implied criticism of a past me. Still, my weight is my business, the same as with anyone else. Even before I had size acceptance, I wouldn’t initiate a conversation with a stranger by asking about his/her weight, even in the course of making a compliment.

He didn’t seem to grasp my objection, so I didn’t respond any further. I’m happy with how I responded, but it probably didn’t do any good.  He may not even have realized why I objected. To understand an observed event, we (adults, anyway) have to plug it into a known framework, and I don’t think he had a framework for what I said.

That’s why it is so important to proclaim and explain size acceptance in all media we can. Even if we don’t change anyone’s mind, we’re at least letting people know that there are such things as body self-acceptance, fat pride, and HAES. Then at least strangers will understand why we object to weight-loss-based compliments, even if they don’t agree.

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, health, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Even If They’re Right . . .

Think about this. Let’s suppose for a minute that those who believe in the “obesity” epidemic are right. That we fatties are eating more than we need to make up for sadness elsewhere in our lives. Or perhaps we are self-medicating for depression. In any case we’re making ourselves fatter and happier, and we could choose to be thinner and healthier (by some measures), but less happy.

My answer is, “so what?” There are two points here: (1) all medicines have side effects, and (2) mental health is as important as any other type of health. People are prescribed anti-depression drugs even though weight gain is a common side effect because the disease is so crippling that it’s an acceptable tradeoff.

There might be some fat folks who eat more because they’re self-medicating. That is, they’re cutting out the middleman, so to speak, and rather than take anti-depressants, just eating more to feel better. To me, that’s also an acceptable tradeoff. Why is the weight gain acceptable in one case and not the other?

Filed under: health, Science, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Staying Informed

The popular media have just now found out about a horrible ad campaign in Georgia that stigmatizes fat children. I am heartened that the size rights community has responded, but I wish that there had been an equivalent response when NAAFA first reported on these ads ten months ago:

http://www.naafaonline.com/newsletterstuff/oldnewsletterstuff/March%202011%20NAAFA%20Newsletter.html

There’s only so much that NAAFA can do to raise awareness. There’s not really a NAAFA army, just a handful of volunteers who issue press releases (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/naafapressreleases/message/61), talk to news organizations, and basically try to work the media. Some readers of that issue of the newsletter probably did do as NAAFA asked and e-mailed the organization’s director, but the effect of these actions isn’t apparent. One additional thing NAAFA could have done was start a petition like this one: http://www.change.org/petitions/childrens-healthcare-of-atlanta-end-the-stop-sugarcoating-campaign; petitions can do a lot of good sometimes.

As I said, the current reaction by the fatosphere is great, but the ads have been on for a while, and a lot of damage has already been done.

So do me (and yourself) a favor: go to the first link above and take a look at last March’s NAAFA Newsletter. (There are more (and newer) newsletters here: http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/about/NEWSLETTERS.html) If you like what you see, and want to stay on top of issues like these Georgia ads, click on the button in the right column that says “Join Our Mailing List”, and you’ll get a NAAFA Newsletter once a month. (Note: I help prepare the newsletter.) It’s free, it’s only one e-mail a month, it’s fun, and you can unsubscribe at any time. Try it!

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, health, Size Discrimination, ,

FAT DOES NOT EQUAL ABUSED OR NEGLECTED

Does the Cleveland Department of Children and Family Services have too much time on their hands?  Too many resources?  Do they not read?  Do they not understand people come in different sizes?  WTF is wrong with these people?

Once again a fat child has been removed from his home because he is fat.  They are claiming it is a form of medical neglect.

http://news.yahoo.com/obese-third-grader-taken-mom-placed-foster-care-201731761.html

Since Yahoo news posts tend to disappear quickly, here is a link to the story that should be around longer:

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2011/11/obese_cleveland_heights_child.html

I guess nobody told them (or the court that allowed this to happen) that no one, including doctors, has been able to find a reliable method of attaining significant weight loss over an extended period of time for most fat people.  If the Cleveland Department of Children and Family Services does know how to achieve this, they should share the secret because they could make a butt load of money.

The 8-year-old boy suffers from sleep apnea.  Thin and fat people suffer from sleep apnea.  But, again, even if the condition is weight-related, there is no “cure”.

The boy has been taking part in a program called “Healthy Kids, Healthy Weight” at the Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital.  He lost some weight, and recently the weight started to come back.  Surprise, surprise.  Apparently, this triggered the boy being put into foster care.  Can’t blame the program.  Can’t blame the good folks at Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital.  Better to take a child from his home and put him into foster care.

The overwhelming majority of the comments on Yahoo to this news story has been that this is the wrong thing to do.  Some of the people are size accepting, some are not, but they pretty much all agree that the government has no business removing fat children from a loving home.

I would say the comments show a step in the right direction in general societal views on this issue, except there is still an 8-year-old boy who has been taken from his home and a mother who is going through pure hell simply because she has a fat child.

Filed under: Fat Activism, Size Discrimination

ASHLEY MADISON THINKS WE’RE FAT – AND STUPID

In case you didn’t know (I didn’t) Ashley Madison is a dating site for married people who want to have an affair.  Personally, I think infidelity makes for bad karma – if I guy cheats on his wife with me, I wouldn’t expect him to be faithful to me.  But that’s just me, not my job to worry about what other folks do.

The problem I have with Ashley Madison is a series of Internet ads they have put out that clearly says they think fat women are not sexy or attractive.

One ad shows a picture of a thin model and a fat model (both wearing similar lingerie) with a check mark next to the thin model and an “x” next to the fat one, and Ashley Madison’s motto, “Life is Short.  Have an Affair.”  Another ad shows the same fat model with the text, “Did your wife scare you last night?”

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ashley-madison-fat-ad-shames-obese-women-porn/story?id=14908377#.TsgNxT0e640

http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/ashley-madison-hits-new-low-ads-ridiculing-fat-people-136440

Am I surprised that this type of company would have sexist, body-shaming ads?  No.  I am however heartened to see that Ashley Madison is getting a lot of negative press about the ads.  I am also happy to see CEO Noel Biderman showing just how much of an ass-hat he is in his attempts to defend the ads.

The fat model (called Jacqueline) in the ads has her own website for people who like to look at sexy fat women.  Biderman refers to it as a porn site.  I haven’t looked, I don’t care.  What this lady does with her own images is not the issue.  In fact, given his line of business, seems to me Biderman has a lot of nerve casting stones at anyone.

Biderman claims he didn’t choose the photos because Jacqueline is fat, “It was a statement about finding you are in a relationship with someone who is unrecognizable.”

He also says, “I don’t think it’s a jab at fat people.  … For many people, a [spouse] is less attractive because they don’t pay attention to their body type.”

Really?  Really?  Come on, how stupid do you think we are?

Biderman is also unhappy about the fuss that Jacqueline is raising.  He says that Ashley Madison purchased the photos legally from the photographer.

Jacqueline says she was under the impression that the people purchasing the photos would be doing so for their own personal use.  Biderman he says, “No one does this for personal use. [showing, again, that he doesn't believe anyone would find images of a fat woman as sexy]  They try to make money off the image.”  What Biderman doesn’t understand is that Jacqueline does use the images to make money – she knows that men (and women) will pay for her image because they find her beautiful and sexy.  However, money is not her sole objective.

Jacqueline is angry because her images are being used for two things she is very much against – cheating and body shame.  She finds the campaign mean-spirited and damaging to the self-worth of all women, especially in a society riddled with eating disorders and bullying.

Wouldn’t Biderman be surprised to learn that fat women are sometimes the “other woman” when a closeted FA (fat admirer) marries a thinner woman but has a fat woman for a mistress because that is what he/she really likes?

All in all, this ad is representative of how fat discrimination is still acceptable.  Can you imagine if either image was of a person of color?  (I’m not going into an argument that racial bigotry is on par with fat discrimination – that’s way too complicated of an issue for me to try to get into – I’m saying that if you substitute a racial preference instead of a size preference, the bigotry in this ad becomes clearer – just in case you had any doubt.)

So Mr. Biderman you are not fooling anyone.

We all understand what you are really saying in your ads; at least have the balls to own it.

 

Filed under: Body image, Size Discrimination

Roberts v. Kramer

After reading an article in The Huffington Post comparing Darryl Roberts (who made the documentary America the Beautiful 2) and Paul Kramer (author of Maggie Goes on a Diet), I was surprised that the author Jean Fain, LICSW,MSW would think that these two individuals were anything alike in their views on body acceptance.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jean-fain-licsw-msw/paul-kramer-maggie-goes-on-a-diet_b_1003714.html#postComment

 Now I must admit.  I am writing this from a place of almost complete ignorance.  I have not seen America the Beautiful 2 and I have not read Maggie Goes on a Diet (although, like Mr. Roberts, I have read excerpts that I found very disconcerting).

 Ms. Fain interviewed both Mr. Roberts and Mr. Kramer, and the basic differences in their respective philosophies seems clear. 

 Look at these two excerpts from the interviews:

             Mr. Roberts:  “I wanted to help people develop more acceptance and self-love. Not to base their self-worth on conforming to what society says you should be.”

             Mr. Kramer:  “I don’t think thin kids are better [as Roberts has suggested]. My [16-year-old] son is perfectly sized, but if he were obese, I would love him just the same. I would try to help him understand how to get healthier, how not to be obese, but I wouldn’t love him less.”

Mr. Kramer obviously believes that fat means unhealthy and that if his son was fat, his son would no longer be “perfectly sized” (whatever that means). 

In the interview, Mr. Kramer says he realizes “traditional” diets don’t work, and says he never went on a diet, but, at times, tried to eat very little or only non-caloric foods.  Gee, that sounds like dieting to me which makes me wonder if  Mr. Kramer does not understand what constitutes dieting.

Mr. Kramer also says he doesn’t understand why people don’t view his book from a positive outlook.  Maggie loves soccer, works hard to run faster and faster (as she shed her pounds). He thinks she should be given credit for her accomplishments, that she lost weight on her own without being pushed or embarrassed.

Clearly, Mr. Kramer doesn’t get it.  People are just fine with Maggie eating healthy foods and getting exercise.  We just wish that Maggie would focus on her real accomplishments and not on her weight. 

 Ms. Fain claims both men are “…more committed than ever to eating healthier, exercising regularly and losing weight. They’re also both committed to doing their part in winning the war on childhood obesity.”  That’s just not true.  Mr. Roberts is not about losing weight, he is about taking charge of your health, and he is about understanding that you should become the best you can, and that can’t be measured by a number.  Nowhere in the printed interview does he encourage weight loss for either himself or others. 

So where is this coming from?  Well, I missed it the first time (no excuse, it’s right there at the beginning and end of the article) – Ms. Fain wrote a diet book herself, The Self Compassion Diet.  Talk about an oxymoron.  She seems to confuse Mr. Roberts’ choice to eat more vegetables and ride his bike to mean that Mr. Roberts wanted to lose weight.  He doesn’t say that.  He says, he did it in response to a high blood pressure diagnosis. 

Seems to me, in trying to tie the outcome of healthy food choices and exercise to weight loss, she is simply repeating the old mantra of fat = unhealthy. Mr. Roberts is making choices that he hopes will lead to better health not lower weight. 

Mr. Roberts understands that you can have a good, healthy life and be fat; Mr. Kramer and Ms. Fain do not.  And therein lies the difference.

Filed under: Body image, Fat Activism, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

FAT STIGMA

I have another hero -Health Sociologist Dr. Samantha Thomas, Senior Research Fellow at Monash University’s Department of Marketing.

Dr. Thomas’ most recent research focuses on the stigma fat people face and the physical and mental effects of that stigma.

 This is information that needs to get out there.  Stigmatizing a group of people has consequences.  Real consequences.  Everyone keeps talking about how fat people are driving up health costs.  Well what about the costs that are related to fat stigma-induced problems?  It’s not the fat that’s the problem – it’s how the fat person is treated. 

 She has found that fat people avoid situations where they may feel stigmatized, which means they are avoiding activities that might improve their physical and mental health.  How’s that for a vicious cycle?

 One of the saddest things that has come out in Dr. Thomas’ research – most fat people don’t challenge the stigma they face because they believe they deserve it. 

 And she recognizes that doing something about fat stigma is going to be very complex because weight bias is everywhere and “inherent in the contemporary war on obesity.” 

 Dr. Thomas gets it. 

 Here is a link to an article about one of Dr. Thomas’ studies (for once, you will LOVE the photo that accompanies the article), and links to some of her research abstracts.

 http://www.healthcanal.com/metabolic-problems/21148-The-stigma-obesity.html

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953611005284

http://qhr.sagepub.com/content/early/2011/07/31/1049732311417728.abstract

http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/png/ajhb/2011/00000035/00000004/art00008

 

Filed under: health, Science, Size Acceptance, Size Discrimination

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 53 other followers