Why I Celebrate My Fat

Okay, so it’s not the most original post. I figured though, hey, sometimes we need to hear from the cheerleaders out there. So sit back, sweet thangs, and watch me shake my pom-poms.

Below are twenty-five reasons why I celebrate my glorious girth. Anyone have anything to add?

1. My kitties have at dozen or so places to choose from and snuggle into.

2. Have you seen some of those hot FAs?

3. I always have a handy flesh shelf for my hands.

4. I like to pretend I’m Godzilla climbing the Empire State Building when I enter an airplane. Strong women tremble, fierce men cringe, children cry. Feel the power!

5. How many other people can simultaneously clap their hands and their upper arms?!

6. Girdles would explode on me.

7. When I dance, every part of me joins in.

8. Fat people are sexy sizzling hot. Seriously.

9. I don’t have to move a single muscle to float in water. I’m a natural-born life preserver.

10.  When I walk alone at night, I laugh at the thought of someone trying to make me do something I don’t want to.

11.  Pantyhose don’t fit me.

12.  Chocolate and peanut butter, candles and steamy bathtubs, fat women and gay men: some things just go naturally together.

13.  A personality this big would be cramped in a teensy body.

14.  More square footage for body adornment, including tatts.

15.  I carry my own, homegrown coat in winter.

16.  Just about every sleeping position is comfortable for me.

17.  Did you know Wagner employed fat sopranos because he believed fat women have the greatest lung capacity and projection?

18.  Hugging me is like riding a tactile roller coaster.

19.  I can’t find high heels in my size and width.

20.  I’m like a feather bed for my romantic partners.

21.  Every outfit is a political statement.

22.  If I take a tumble, my bones and other goodies have a lot of padding to protect them.

23.  People don’t tend to sit next to me on a bus.

24.  I have tons of nooks and crannies, good for secreting IDs, tucking away money, distributing the weight of heavy objects I’m forced to carry, and balancing lighter objects when my hands are full.

25.  No one ever underestimates my strength and power.

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4 thoughts on “Why I Celebrate My Fat

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