It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask

This is more a people issue than a fat issue, but I find that fat people are often timid about asking questions, especially concerning fat-specific issues (fat friendly seating, proper care at the doctors, etc.)

So many situations can be improved on or avoided by simply asking:  Can I …, Will you …, Why should I …, Would it be okay if …, etc.

If you have pets, you know that your furry loved one has no problem asking for whatever they want – “Can I go outside?”  “Can I come inside?”  “Are you going to eat that?”  They know, it never hurts to ask.

The thing about asking is you want something that you do not have and that you would like to have (information, permission, another piece of pie, whatever).  The worst thing that can happen after you ask is you still won’t have what you want.  You are no worse off; and you may get what you want.

So go ahead and ask.  Ask, “Is there a reason you need to weigh me?”  “Do you have a large blood pressure cuff you can use?”  “Do you have armless chairs?”  “Do the tables pull out in your booths?”  “Want to go for a walk?”  “Are you asking me that because I’m fat?”  “Is this the same treatment you would recommend for an average size patient?”  “I will have trouble doing that, is there something else I can do?”  “Are you going to eat that?” etc., etc., etc. 

Here’s an example – when we have fire drills at work, I have to walk down 7 floors.  I am physically able to do this; however, my knees are not thrilled, and for the next couple of days I know my calves are going to be cramped up and I’ll be hobbling around in compression stockings.  Not fun.  All to see if I can get out of the building if necessary.  I know the answer is “Yes, if necessary I can get out of the building”.  So I asked if there is a way I could opt out of leaving during drills.  The answer turned out to be “yes”.  I could wait in the stairwell with one of our floor wardens (who is usually thrilled to be avoiding the trip down too); and we would be contacted if there really is an emergency.  Cool beans.  Yes, I could bite the bullet and be the good fatty who can get down those stairs on my own; and be miserable for a couple of days.  But I don’t have to; and I know that now, because I asked.

Some people will think you’re just being pushy or a big baby.  So what?  That’s their perception.  As a friend once told me “That goes in the big box in my head marked ‘NOT MY PROBLEM’.”  (I love that box, and I am amazed at how much it can hold.)

Another thing to remember is when you are asking for information, you are not asking for someone’s opinion.  So you should feel free to reject any unsolicited opinion that is offered instead of or in addition to the response.  Reject it out loud or mentally, but reject it; that’s up to you.

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2 thoughts on “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask

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