But you have such a pretty face …

The first time I heard this one, I was all of maybe 7 or 8 years old and I heard it from a group of neighborhood boys!  Truly! 

I have always been a girly-girl, yet boys have always liked me; maybe because boys say I don’t think like a girl (whatever that means).  Anyhow, I was hanging out with some neighborhood boys and one of them told me, very seriously, how much they really liked me and they would like me to be their girlfriend except I was … well …. uh …. um – fat.  I have to hand it to them, they really wanted to tell me how much they liked me and they really didn’t want to hurt my feelings; but they really could not be boyfriend/girlfriend with me because I was fat.  Wow.  It was the first time that I ever thought of these boys as anything other than friends; I was flattered to bits that they liked me so much and thought I was so cool; and I didn’t know what to think about the fat part.  Really. 

I mean I knew I was fat.  My store bought clothes were from Sears’ Chubby line and weren’t as cute as the other clothes Sears sold.  But I couldn’t figure out what being fat had to do with being friends.  So I said, “okay”, and took it under advisement.

But then, not long after that, I was playing with a boy from another neighborhood.  We were playing war, but there was just the two of us.  I suggested that one of us needed to be on the other side (because if you’re playing war you need two sides, you know?), and he told me he understood that but he didn’t want me on the other side, because he wanted me to be with him – next to him.  Okay.  So this boy liked me just the way I was.  Hmmmm. 

Of course, once I got older, I understood some boys just didn’t like fat girls.  Well, I didn’t like all the boys either, so I could understand not everyone liking me.  What was hard to understand were the boys that seemed to like me just the way I was, but couldn’t/wouldn’t be my boyfriend because they would get teased; and they couldn’t deal with that.  That hurt and it made me angry.  I was brought up on “Disney” and I thought things should always be “fair”.  It wasn’t fair that someone who liked me wasn’t able to act on it because of other people.  On the other hand, if they weren’t strong enough to stand up for themselves (much less for me), I didn’t have much use for them. 

Pretty harsh.  But if you want the pretty face (and mind and sense of humor and talent) then you better be ready to accept the rest of me; because it is a package deal, and let me tell you not everything good comes in small packages!


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