I know you’ve heard it over and over and over. But it does bear repeating … stop waiting.
Really, unless what you want to do is weight or size-dependent (i.e., you simply won’t fit into the car for that rollercoaster), go ahead and do it.
Want to take dance lessons? Do it. In my (happily) misspent youth, I saw a production of the Nutcracker and the sugarplum fairy was FAT! And she was terrific!
You may not be able to run that marathon – today. But you can start with some basic training, and see where it takes you. Maybe you’ll never run that marathon, because maybe you’ll find out that isn’t where your passion lies. But you’ll never know until you try.
I had always thought my dream life would be singing/performing professionally. And lo and behold, I got the chance to do that with Bottom’s Up. And you know what? I hated life on the road; and I found out it’s not much of a life because you have to constantly be careful of your voice (no partying), and you’re on a different schedule from the rest of the world. So I got my “dream”, and found out it wasn’t my dream. But I am so much happier knowing.
I have two general rules. I don’t give my money to fat-haters (sorry Subway and 24 Hour Fitness) and I avoid places where I am exposed to weight loss or diet talk. And I am upfront about that. I love Curves. The circuit training is great for me. I had no problems with the owners of the Curves. I told them before I signed up, I was there to get stronger not smaller, and they were perfectly cool with that. Unfortunately, all the people going to Curves seemed to be all about weight loss and diet talk. You can’t get away from it, because you have to hear the tape that tells you when to switch machines, so for my own sanity I had to quit. So you do what you have to do, but try it. It was a choice for me – I could’ve stayed and fought the fat fight – spreading the truth about diets, etc., but I felt that this was my time, for me – not for them and their issues.
You don’t have to have the perfect outfit, and you don’t have to look any particular way. You don’t have to do everything – although, a good group workout (yoga or aerobics) should be set up for various levels of fitness. But if it is too much – take a break. Again, you’re there for you; not to live up to someone else’s standards.
Think about what you would like to do that you think would make you happy and then try it. You’ll find out fat and happy are not contradictory terms; neither are fat and fit.
Now I admit I have a fattitude and I’m (usually) not afraid to use it; however, if you aren’t quite as bold, look for “safe” places where you can become more comfortable being you (instead of worrying about what other people think about you). Volunteer – at your church, at your local theater, etc. Go to fat friendly dances, go out with fat friendly friends, get out there. You may find some nasty folks, but you’ll probably find a lot more nice people, if you give them a chance.
I always make a point of using the word “fat” too. If someone says “oh, you’re not that fat,” I respond with “are you blind/crazy/high?” Personally, I like to grab a floppy part and jiggle it at them, but that’s just me.
And if someone says something snarky about me being fat, I basically say “yes, I am fat. and …?” and see where they want to take it. You’d be surprised how many snarky people get on that hate-bike and backpedal for all they are worth if you just confront them. I worked with a lady who was always giving left-handed compliments. I would simply say, “what do you mean by that?” And she’d get so flustered and embarrassed. Snarks often are not ready to be called on their behavior. Either they think you are too stupid to know that they are being nasty
Kids are the best. Especially those to young to know it isn’t “polite” to call someone fat (and too young to mean anything beyond WOW!). Perfect time for a lesson in we’re all different and isn’t that cool.
And then there is the Camryn Manheim route – when she was snarked by another fattie (sigh), she said “just because I am fatter than you, does not make you any less fat.”
And as I’ve said before, it is harder for people to hate fatties as a group, if they have fat folks in their life. Once they know fat stereotypes don’t apply to the fatties they know personally, they’ll (hopefully) start questioning those stereotypes as a whole.
Remember too, there is no pressure here – you don’t have to do everything — in fact you can’t. One of my favorite sayings is “you can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything.” Which merely means, prioritize, try one or two things at a time and then move on from whatever you don’t enjoy.
Don’t forget to leave time just for you – maybe what you really want/need to try is meditation. Remember, it is all about you!