Fatty Clothes – Tight or Loose?

“Know first who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.”  Euripides

This harkens back to the old fatty issue of “to tuck or not to tuck”.  I was a tuckee for many years, until my physique changed and I became an un-tuckee.  My criteria being what made ME feel comfortable and attractive?

I am so happy to see more and more fatties wearing tight clothes.  How I envy them their self confidence.  I admit to being a more draped kind of girl, but I am working on it.  I now traipse around the house in tight legging jeans and a cami top – and when I see myself in the mirror, I think I look pretty damn good.  I even go outside dressed like that – but if I’m going to the store, I confess that I throw on a sweater. 

I am not advocating one style over the other; but I’ll tell you one thing I learned back in my misspent youth working in a fat lady clothing store – if you wear loose fitting clothes, most people will assume that you are as big as those clothes, so you might as well show them exactly what you got! 

Of course what you wear is also determined on what you’re going to be doing – I work in a law office, and they would be very unhappy if I came in with my boobs and/or belly and/or butt in view.  For my own personal comfort, I usually try to keep most of those parts covered anyhow – except the boobs – sometimes.  Hey boobs are a goodness. 

But when I’m on campus, I love when I see fatties who have their bellies peaking out!  You go girl!  When we go to a size-acceptance dance, I love the fatties who are obviously reveling in their curves!  It rocks! 

Personally, I also have to deal with the issue of age-appropriateness.  This is another toughie for me.  In my head, I’m still in the midst of that misspent youth!  I’ll see something adorable, to die for, and then there’s that nasty voice in the back of my head saying — should someone YOUR age really wear that?  Sometimes I tell the voice to shut up; other times I have to say, okay – not really for me.  But I try to base these decisions on what I am comfortable with — not what society says I “should” be wearing. 

As I’ve said before, we all do the best we can at any given time.  Somedays I’m up for making a statement by wearing tight clothes or putting red or purple in my hair.  Somedays, I’m not up for the battle. 

But I do try to dress to the occasion, to my own comfort level, and to my personal standards of appropriateness.  Looking “good”, in and of itself, is a statement to the world.  It shows fat-phobes and people who might otherwise be unaware, that fatties can (and do) look good; and it serves as a “good example” to other fatties.  Sad to say, some fatties don’t think they can look good unless and until they lose weight.  So you are putting them on notice too – hey, I look good – so can you! 

And that is what I try to keep in mind when I see fatties in tight or revealing clothes.  They look great – I’m like them – I can (and do) look great too!  We’re in it together my fat friends.

 

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7 thoughts on “Fatty Clothes – Tight or Loose?

  1. I love this post!

    I grew up at home with, not just pressure to be thinner, but pressure to look ‘groomed’ and ‘ladylike’ at all times. Casual and relaxed was frowned on, but equally, sexy, revealing and indeed, noticeable in any way was also a no-no. And being fat (or at any rate, seen as such – I was a UK 14), I was expected to wear ‘figure flattering’ clothes, which meant I ended up in some desperately frumpy stuff. It’s taken me a long time to get comfortable with putting together my own look. And, I’m 40, and I suffer from the ‘age-appropriate’ thing too – but then I think, heck, I looked middle-aged with the stuff I wore in my teens, so who cares if I wear ‘young’ now I’m middle aged? (Eerily, I actually look younger than I did back then. I’m a lot heavier, a lot happier, and my hair suits my face better now too.)

    Now, I’m casual a lot of the time (thank God I now have a job that doesn’t have a dress code – I hated skirt suits), but I do a sort of punk/boho thing when I go out. Also, I used to hate the tops of my arms – I was always getting told to cover them up. I finally learned to love them when I had tattoos!

    I loved walking round Bumbershoot in Seattle last year seeing people of all shapes and sizes, dressed however they wanted, rocking out to the bands and not giving a damn. Part of the reason I want to live an urban life is that I think people are more accepting of ‘alternative’ kind of looks in big cities anyway.

  2. well, I think you pretty much nail it with I do try to dress to the occasion, to my own comfort level, and to my personal standards of appropriateness.
    There are places in which tight clothing is inappropriate, and there are places in which loose clothing might be inappropriate-swimming being the example I can think of. Otherwise, dress how you like to dress.

  3. Oh, boy do I ever hear you on this. I’m 40 and I was raised by a mom who had very strict standards for “good taste” – and they were 100x stricter for fat women like me – or like her when she got over 125 pounds (I can’t remember ever weighing under 180, myself). Her rules included things like never wearing anything that visibly “pulled” over the butt – which basically meant that I had the wear baggy tops or jackets all the time.

    I’ve been pushing the envelope for decades, but I have my limits. For things I wear in public, it’s short OR (not and) tight. I don’t flash my belly, ever. I don’t wear anything that emphasizes rolls or that causes bulges. I only wear minis with tights or leggings, and I don’t wear anything more than an inch above the knee to work, unless it’s Friday and I don’t have any meetings outside my workgroup. I can’t produce cleavage without serious padding, so it doesn’t really matter how low-cut my shirts are, as long as my bra doesn’t show. I don’t feel uncomfortable at all in sleeveless tops or tight pants that fit well. Hum. I guess my “rules” are pretty liberal.

    I do end up debating a lot with myself about whether outfits are “too young,” “too trendy,” or “too silly,” though.

  4. I’m a modest dresser, regardless of what size I’ve been. I’m okay with different looks – goth, emo, hipster, hippie, office casual, granola, gym rat, church rat, etc. My standards tend to hover around a) clothes should fit b) clothes should be clean and free of bad odor c) clothes should be appropriate for the situation (no hot pink thongs under thin white ultra mini skirts at the grocery store, please).

    Personally, I don’t bare cleavage, belly, or thighs, and I am a big fan of tights under shorter skirts. I hate to see butt cleavage on anybody, but thin people are even more guilty of that than fatter people.

  5. I wear clothes that are pretty fitted. I don’t like slouchy style clothes (Unless it’s semi-sluchy top with a fitted high waisted skirt, or a slouchy dress with a belt.) because they make me look different than I actually am. It’s the same reason I don’t like to wear clothes that make me look skinnier. They make me feel like I’m hiding something.

    Also, I’m a big believer in faking confidence until it becomes second nature. And that means dressing in clothes only a super confident girl can wear.

    I admit I still have issues with wearing tight shirts, and then sitting down because I know I have visible rolls. I think this is a leftover from when I’d monitor whether or not I’d be allowed to eat by whether or not I could feel any rolls if I sat down. I was one healthy teenager all right.

  6. Sometimes it’s not so much about choice as about dealing with catalogs. “Does this fit badly enough that I’m going to send it back (losing the shipping I paid both ways) or is it acceptable enough?” often leads to keeping something that’s a bit tighter or looser than I’d prefer.

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