Hubby and I recently went to the Bahamas (for my beautiful niece’s wedding), and we took US Airways.
I am able, technically, to squeeze my fat ass between two armrests, but when flying coach I almost always buy 3 seats for us, so we can have a row to ourselves, giving us room for our butts and our stuff.
Sooooooo, I went online, purchased our tickets. Of course, they (like every other airline I have bought tickets from) are not set up so you can buy 2 seats for 1 butt. I have finally worked around this problem by purchasing them under two versions of my name – for this trip, I figured this is especially important since you have to use a passport for the Bahamas and I don’t have a passport that reads “and my fat ass”. I reserved the seats, paid for the tickets and waited for our trip, all fat and happy.
Get to the airport. Nowadays, US Airways wants you to use the e-check in kiosk, even if there are people available at the counter. Okay. Did it. And noticed that I did not get three contiguous seats. Got a window and an aisle in one row and an aisle in the row behind and across from our two seats. AND US Airways had sold the seat between my husband and me.
So we went to the ticket counter, where we were basically told we’re screwed, but we can ask the person sitting between us to trade for the aisle seat in the other row (and how happy that person would be to do it because no one wants the middle seat). Uh-huh. Then they checked, and US Airways “helped” me by screwing up the return trip and the connecting flights to and from the Bahamas from Charlotte (the connector has rows of only 2 across, it was cheaper to buy 3 roundtrip tickets to the Bahamas, than 2 roundtrip to the Bahamas and 1 roundtrip to Charlotte). I had purchased the seat in front of me on the connecting flights so no one would be putting their seat back into “my” space. The ticket counter did straighten out our return flights; but said they couldn’t do anything about our outgoing flights.
When we got to the gate, as soon as the gate was staffed, I went up. Apparently, they had been warned about the angry fat woman who would most likely be coming to see them. The lady (a fatty) was trying to help, and made the same suggestion about simply waiting until we were on the plane and asking the person to trade. I told her that I didn’t think I should have to beg for the seat that I had reserved and paid for. And I told her I wanted (and expected) 3 seats together – not 2 because I still like my husband enough to want to be seated with him. And then the computers went down.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. But not a fat issue.
She finally decided to make an announcement asking the person who had the seat between Bill and me to come to the gate. When he came up, she took care of trading the tickets out. Which I appreciated. She simply took his ticket and crossed out his seat number and wrote in the aisle seat behind and across from where we had 2 tickets. Which means, my tickets still said I would be sitting in 2 aisle seats, kitty-corner from each other (my what a talented ass US Airways must think I have, but how are they going to get the drink cart though?).
So we go to board, and the ticket guy looks at my tickets and starts in on, “Are there two of you?” I said no, I bought two seats for my fat ass (one for each cheek); and he starts to say, “But these seats .,..” And I told him, very seriously that he did not want to start with me, and if he had a problem he could go talk to the lady at the gate. I must have looks sufficiently scary because he let me through.
SO, I try to do what the airlines are urging fatties to do, and buy 2 seats, and the airline not only makes it seriously difficult to do so, they screw with the seats anyhow.
And then they wonder why fat folks are no longer so fucking jolly.