Fatties – Let’s get physical

For years I was not comfortable with other people touching me.  No backrubs, hugs limited to family and then with as little touching as I could get away with.

Anyhow, I think part of the problem is that many fatties are so uncomfortable in their own skin, that they shrink away from human physical contact. 

It took a friend of mine who was a hug-monster to teach me to endure and finally come to love hugs.  It was well worth the work of forcing myself to hug people.  And I also think that was one of my first steps on the road to fat acceptance.  Other people didn’t shrink away in horror at the thought of hugging me — so why should I have my panties in such a bunch over my body?

Hugging is such a goodness; and personally, I think hugging a fat person is extra-comforting.  I think it takes folks back to their childhood when a hug was enveloping! 

Simple human contact is important to everyone!  So your hugs are not just something good for yourself, you are helping someone else too.  Win-win!

So give it a try; and keep at it, because it is sooooo worth it.


8 thoughts on “Fatties – Let’s get physical

  1. Oh goodness, can I relate! Sadly. Although hugs are actually the only form of physical contact I haven’t had issues with.
    My mom would go in to give me a shoulder rub, and, even though I have considerable extra padding with my fat, I was just one hard mass of tension. I tried getting a massage while this was at it’s worst, and I spent the entire session with my muscles tensed, giggling. The massage therapist actually told me I needn’t bother coming back, as she didn’t think I would get anything out of it (she wasn’t all that great a massage therapist, to tell you the truth). The giggling thing is kinda weird, I just get more ticklish the more uncomfortable I am having someone touch me. Is that something anyone else in here has experienced?

    To be honest I am not yet over this, maybe especially my back rolls. I have made great strides in the right direction though, I guess I should have some patience.

    • Wow. She does sound like a crappy massage therapist. I’m not trained, and even I can get results from people with ultra tense muscles. Sounds to me she didn’t have the muscle and/or skill to deal with you, so she made it about you rather than about her.

      I get more giggly when anything intense is happening, so I can relate.

  2. Agreed! I have slowly developed a love of touching, which I think came from martial arts. It’s impossible to have personal space in that kind of class, and it’s just evolved from there. I love touching. Love it.

  3. A friend of mine has an eight-year-old son who whispered to his momma after giving me a hug for my birthday, “Wow! That’s the huggiest lady I’ve ever hugged!”

  4. Yes! I can’t say it was due to feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, but just afraid of human contact for awhile. One night, while out with friends for a big dinner, I realized that I was “the untouchable.” Everyone was hugging goodbyes and then each would wave at me or shake my hand. I finally asked my BFF, “Am I un-huggable?” She said no but that I come off as stand-off-ish. WOW! Revelation! I’m still not entirely touchy-feely, but I do hug and get hugged and that’s totally okay with me now, too.
    Thanks for this. I had forgotten what that was like.

  5. Oh yes! I went through years of “DON’T TOUCH ME!!” I pushed people away, I never let anyone touch me for fear of grossing them out with my fatness.

    I then dated a man who worked in community services, and through the circle of his friends with similar careers, learned to hug and touch again. Community services people are very touchy feely!

    Veronica – yes – the tension and giggling thing, I’ve gone through those as well. A decent massage therapist will have met people like that many times before and will know how to put them at ease and help fix that.

    Bountiful Luv Muffin – I love the idea of being the huggiest lady ever!

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