A recent article talks about how much time women (including the author of the article) waste on negative body talk – about our own bodies and other women’s bodies.
She’s absolutely right.
Not only is it a waste of time it is hurtful, to others and to yourself. Every time you judge someone else’s body, there is a part of you that realizes other people are judging you – and that leads you to take yet another look in the mirror to see if you “measure up”.
What I really like about the article is a focus on how telling someone they look thinner or asking if they’ve lost weight, is not helpful. Many people feel happier to be told they look slimmer, but it points out that someone has been judging you on your looks and makes you wonder what was wrong before.
I think most women will agree that after yourself, other women are your harshest critics. How sad is that?
Women often complain that society objectifies them. Well, perhaps we should stop objectifying ourselves and each other.
But the good news is that you can change for yourself. It’s not easy. Unfortunately, judging ourselves and others based on looks is almost automatic. But we can make a start by not voicing those judgments, and trying not to dwell on them. We can make an effort, when we catch ourselves engaging in negative body talk, to stop. No guilt, no blame. Just remind yourself that this is not a useful occupation.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. (Wayne Dyer)