Beauty and Attraction

There’s a popular meme that says that everyone is beautiful. Sure, I can agree with that: Each one of us is beautiful in a unique and special way. But what I can’t get with is the idea that fatties are beautiful because everyone is beautiful. I’ve seen that sentiment on lots of blogs over the years, including some that I mentioned in my last post. Worse yet is the idea that an image of a beautiful fat person proves that everyone is beautiful, which if you think about it is a bit insulting.

When it comes to physical attraction, fat women do it for me. That’s not a hard and fast rule; I’m not attracted to all fat women, and I can certainly see the physical beauty in averaged-sized women, and even men of varying sizes. But mainly I find fat women especially attractive, even though everyone is beautiful. (Perhaps it would be fruitful to discuss the difference between beauty and attractiveness in a future post.)

The “everyone is beautiful” idea seems like a consolation prize to me. It sounds a bit like, “Wow, x person is really beautiful! And, I guess, fatties are beautiful, too. I mean, they have to be cuz everyone is.”

Everyone is beautiful, but each one of us finds beauty in different things. To me, fat bodies are especially beautiful, and I celebrate them and my preference for them.


10 thoughts on “Beauty and Attraction

  1. I would say that each person is beautiful to at least one other person – while not everyone may find a certain person beautiful, others may. There’s no accounting for taste – I had a friend, back when I was in high school, that a lot of people thought was ugly as all get-out. I happened to find him rather attractive, and thought that some of the guys they thought were attractive weren’t so hot, even though I suppose they were conventionally attractive (they just didn’t appeal to me).
    And for me, beauty isn’t why I’m attracted to someone, it’s so much more than that – their sense of humor, compassion, intelligence, respect, everything that makes up who they are as a person makes them much more attractive than just how they look.

    • Thanks for your response. I agree that taste is a very individual thing. For me, physical attraction is indeed a big factor, especially in the start of a relationship. But if it’s the only factor, I agree that that’s not enough.

  2. Hmm, yeah, I haven’t really ironed out my opinion on the “Everyone is beautiful” idea. I’m just not sure it’s true. It depends on whether we say beauty is objective or subjective I guess. If it’s subjective, then yes, different people find different looks beautiful so everyone is beautiful – alternatively no one is beautiful. If it’s objective then no, everyone is not beautiful. My thing is; looks have far too much importance in Western society. Look at it like this, isn’t the fact that the ‘nice people’ in this culture find it necessary to say, “everyone is beautiful” proof enough that physical appearance holds too much importance?

    • Thanks for commenting, Veronica. My concern regaring culture and beauty is that only one type is considered beautiful. And I would say that beauty is subjective, and for every person, there probably is someone out there who thinks that person is beautiful.

  3. The thing is with ‘everyone is beautiful’ – well, then the word is rendered meaningless – you might as well just replace it with ‘human’. It’s like how we’re all unique, well yeah and so what? I feel that what’s more important is for it to be OK for the majority not to find you beautiful, and for that to be all it means, without any deeper moral or social judgement attached. And for it to be OK to choose not to meet popular standards of beauty if you don’t want to bother. And for it to be OK to find different things beautiful to what the popular majority prefers. But perhaps ‘everyone is beautiful’ is a step in the right direction – because it does encourage people to see beauty where they might not have done, and be more open to different ideals.

    • Thanks for your comment, Katy. I don’t think that the word beauty is necessarily rendered meaningless by the universality of beauty, but I agree that it isn’t a terribly helpful concept.

      Your third and following sentences definitely fall under the category of “I wish I had said that!”

  4. Being a radio maniac, the way I’ve answered this is that beauty is like radio. Every body sends out its own wavelengths, and we all have our own tuners and our own inner genres. Are you classical? Punk? Metal? Hip-hop? Country? Something else?

    Size-wise, having also been a motorcyclist, I know some of us crave the adrenaline of the sport, others want to take a touring model for the long haul, some take it easy with a cruiser, some just want to get the job done with a good reliable standard, and some want a mix of adrenaline and distance and go for the sport-touring bikes.

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