As we dive into the holiday season, I would like to revisit facing the holidays.

Many fat folks have problems over the holidays because of family and friends who don’t understand that comments about weight are not only unwelcome but can be downright hurtful. 

I can only encourage you to set some boundaries and stick to them.  If you can, let problem people know in advance that you will not be putting up with their unsolicited “help” and that their “concern” about your weight is misplaced.

Some useful neutral phrases I have found are:

“I’m not comfortable with that (or discussing that)”

“That’s not an issue for me”

“My health/weight/size is between me and my doctor.”

If you are comfortable with being a bit more confrontational, you could offer to provide them with links to studies that refute what they’re saying, you could tell them outright this is none of their business, you could tell them outright you don’t appreciate their comments.

And if you are comfortable with confrontation, you can call them on what they’ve said.  I usually find that if you simply say, “Excuse me?” or “What is that supposed to mean?” people (especially passive-aggressive bullies) tend to back right down.  They don’t like it when their sneaky meanness is pointed out.

And remember when we are children we are pretty much saddled with the family that we were born into, but as we grow older we can choose who is family to us and it has nothing to do with blood and everything to do with love and respect. 

And don’t forget to try to be loving and respectful to yourself too.

So I wish you all wonderful holidays.


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