My new driver’s license came in the mail yesterday. My first impression was that my eyes look weird. That’s because I was trying to keep them open; I tend to blink during photos. My second impression was how old I looked. My last license photo was taken in the 1990s; I was wearing big, round glasses, and yeah I had a double chin, but was still pretty youthful looking.
Now I’ve got jowls instead of an extra chin. This is one instance where fat doesn’t look very young, at least not to me. Rather than giving me more roundness, the jowls hang, and give my face vertical lines. Having the glasses off in the photo doesn’t help either. It’s OK, I usually don’t think too much about this sort of thing. But it goes to show that my view of myself is changing as I age.
I’ve been part of fat acceptance for a long time, but when I first got fat, around the time my last DMV picture was taken, it took a while to adjust to my own fatness, even though I had long accepted and appreciated other people’s fatness. Now, I’m having to adjust to my age.
Tanteterri just posted about whether she should try to look her age or not. I’m a man, and not every man is like me, but when I think about my age, the very next thing I think about is employability. I’ve got a pretty secure position in my job, but if I ever had to go looking, I know that my next employer would think, “How many more years has this guy got left in him?”
I don’t dress particularly young, or particularly old. I wear dress shirts (no tie) and slacks to work, and on weekends I go for pajama pants and a t-shirt if I’m staying in, or a camp shirt and slacks if I’m going out. OK, I guess that sounds kinda old. But I wear my hair longish, wear hipster-ish (although not really) eyeglasses, and my t-shirts are cool. All of that seems to fit me. So I’m not having the same concerns that tanteterri is.
But it’s one thing to know you’re old; it’s another to be confronted by that fact in a photo.